Extra Salacious Edition
First up, we have this headline from Reuters: lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital. Let that one simmer in your frontal lobe for a while. Kinshasa's Chief of Police had this eminently reasonable reaction to the sorcerer-related breakdown in social order: "I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke, but when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'how do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it.'" My inner undergraduate wants to advance some theory about reactions to modernity, etc, but he's too busy laughing beer out his nose.
In the "old but still good" category, we have Yglesias reporting on the trials and tribulations of Finland's Prime Minister: "Matti Vanhanen, 52, prime minister since 2003, has been enjoying a wave of support since the disclosure that he likes to take a sauna before sex and enjoys his favorite meal of beef and baked potatoes afterward." The second commenter really sums up the position of all men on this important political issue.
Edit: How could we forget Pen Island!
Now, on to murder. Metstradamus reports the following quote from a Mike and Mad Dog segment on the slumping Carlos Delgado: "there's not a solution in sight for the first half of the season ... maybe in July they can get a first baseman, they could kill him, they could bench him, they can do a million things then." C.C., you may wish to purchase security ahead of your inevitable arrival in NYC. That 10.13 ERA shit isn't going to fly in the Big Apple.
Finally, we have a few YouTube clips for your perusal. As you may or may not know, Thomas Friedman, he of "Suck. On. This." fame, was recently given a pie to the face by a pair of uppity Brown students incensed by his role as a cheerleader for global capitalism. For the record, this is the equivalent of placing a flaming bag of poo on the White House steps because you're annoyed at Bush's position on steel tariffs. Still, we at FTB support almost any form of abuse directed at Friedman, so click on the link and watch him almost slip on pie and fall over. Classic.
I thought long and hard about whether I could contribute meaningfully to your enjoyment of this next clip, and I've decided that nothing I say can make it any more hilarious than it already is. Enjoy.