Remember those gay porn star twins/burglars from Philly? Well, apparently their mom was a lookout for them.
Confused about the subprime mortgage crisis? So was I, until I read this helpful guide. Apparently, the word "fuck" plays a central role in our economy.
Charlie Rose "trips" on St. Patrick's day and sacrifices his beautiful face to save his MacBook Air.
"What do they call the death squad here?" Five middle aged women , all of whom were visiting a church in their neighborhood's central square, answered in imperfect unison: "The Thundercats."
Moscow's fashionistas party in Stalin's secret command bunker. They've still got nothing on Stalin's all night "Missile Crisis" coke orgy, though.
'Wingers finally mobilize to point out that, in fact, Barack Obama is a terrifying black dude.
From the "War is a Fucker" file: German wartime flying ace discovers that he shot down his favorite author.
It's been a banner week for cannibalism. A top aide testifies the Charles Taylor ordered soldiers to eat victims. In perhaps the finest bit of cross-examination ever, the defense lawyer asks a witness "which one tasted best?"
And, while in Africa they eat people, here in the US of A we just plead guilty to "body stealing." This guy carved up Alistair Cooke's cadaver like a Christmas ham. NJ: come for the hookers, stay for the black market bone marrow.
Finally, panhandling gets a national audience as some black guy repeatedly asks nation for change.
1 comment:
I've become disenchanted with the Onion of late, but once in a while they produce a sparkling little gem like that. Perfect.
Post a Comment